Power Genes Book Blog
Disclaimer:
Please note: While I do not agree with Ms. Craddock’s exact postulations on family and caregivers actions and reactions forming who you are today, I do know from a counseling viewpoint that family does play a part in development. Please look beyond her statements about family to what she is saying about how your personal characteristics can and do affect you in your professional life.
chapter 1--Family Influences
How has your family and up bringing influenced who you are today? Give 2 examples
Respond to 2 other people
As a child my grandmother had a great deal of influence on how I viewed society and the people in it. She was a very positive and caring individual. Therefore, I try to think positive and give eveyone a change before judging them. Also, my mother raised me and my three brothers on her own. She showed me that no matter what life brings you that you should always do your best and try to overcome the obsticale.
ReplyDeleteGrowing up as an only child I was and still am my parents everything. My parents spent countless hours talking to me and teaching me right from wrong. They taught me to be a caring and loving person and to have respect for all people. They also taught me to never be a person to just set back and watch to always offer up a helping hand to others no matter the cost.
ReplyDeleteI am the youngest child in a family of 3 older brothers and so was kinda spoiled. But as I grew up, watching my mom and how she was always the one to be in service to others has made me the same way. I will go out of my way to make sure people have what they need before my own needs. Also, being raised in a christian home has influenced my life to treat others (for the most part) how I want to be treated. That idea not only affects my classroom but my coaching as well. My dad left me that legacy.
ReplyDeleteI am also the youngest child in a family of three older brothers. I never considered this family dynamic to influence my role in my career today. While growing up, I always had to stand up to my brothers if I wanted them to listen to me. It was very easy for me to play a passive role and let others make the decisions. I used to be this way, but going through college helped me develop leadership skills and become much more independent in my life and in my career. My family instilled in me values that I continue to live by - giving everyone a chance, treating people the way I want to be treated, and basically just leading a good Christian life.
ReplyDeleteI am a product of my generation, the baby boomers!! I grew up in a rural setting with a German background and heritage. It was an unwritten rule that hard work leads to success. As a baby boomer the work ethic was always work hard, do what you are told and don't ask questions. I still believe that hard work is the way to success. I am also a middle child and a "peacemaker" I believe in negotiating and compromise as a way to solve conflict. I don't think it has to be a win-lose situation. If everyone is willing to give a little generally you can find a middle ground.
ReplyDeleteI am also a product of my generation, strong work ethic was expected. My father taught us by example; no one played until the work was completed. If you worked hard, success followed. I grew up on a farm where there was always something constructive to do. Family was taken for granted, nearly all my relatives lived close to us and we were involved in family activities often. Like Marcy, I was a middle child, the peacemaker. I still try to keep others from getting in ‘trouble’ by helping out. It’s just the right thing to do, no questions asked.
ReplyDeletetest
ReplyDeleteI had the good fortune to come from a family who valued work and valued doing things right. I also had the good fortune of living a block and a half from grandparents who were always positive. As I grew up, we helped each other. Work offered a way of connecting to family and working with my grandparents gave me a chance to hear the old family stories and learn of my connection to them and the past. As a result, I still value work ethic and the positives of working hard, but realize that being positive with others and respecting them for their strengths is important also.
ReplyDeleteI was the oldest of six children. My family depended on me to babysit and help with the younger children. This molded me into a person who feels natural and comfortable in the role of care giver and nurturer. Yet another aspect of my family, pushed me to an opposite point from the example. My parents had a lot of conflict leading up to their divorce. Many say that that will lead children to seek conflict in their adult relationships, but I hate conflict and avoid it as much as I can. In this I am a peacemaker, I try to help others resolve conflicts also.I enjoy peace and tranquility in my family life.
ReplyDeleteIn reading Jerry's post I feel nostalgic for the days when most parents taught children to "Do the right thing."
I had not attributed my upbringing to the way I handle work related situations until starting the book. Like many of you I was the middle child of two other siblings. While growing up on a farm we were taught to do things for ourselves and not to depend on others to get a job done. I still see this influence in that I am not afraid to tackle a job by myself as I know I will be able to do it when sometimes I probably should ask others to help. My grandmother was another influence in my life. She was always so kind and would do anything she could to help others. I see some of her influence in my life as I enjoy helping other people when asked or I even volunteer my help when I see someone working on project(s).
ReplyDeleteGrowing up I was the youngest of 5 children. I had three older brothers and a older sister. Growing up was rough being the youngest. My parents divorced when I was 2 and had to go back and forth a lot. Growing up I had to really work hard to get noticed, I had to help out a lot and was always in trouble or caught in the middle of something. I think growing up with my family I've learned to please people. There was always some sort of drama going around so I would always try to please everybody to try and make everyone happy. I still find myself doing that. Growing up my sister and I only had each other, so we kind of took on a parenting role towards each other and that still has carried on into adulthood.
ReplyDeleteJamie K I completely understand what you said I always felt that way too, partly because they were my step brothers and my step mom treated us as if we were not equal to them. I found myself as very passive, I would say I still am a little, but I think moving away has helped me to become a stronger person and be more vocal about my beliefs.
ReplyDeleteDenise I totally agree with you. I grew up with a lot of conflict too, and I think that is why I hate it so much now and try to resolve things. My husband tells me that I try to please everybody to much instead of trying to please myself. I see his point, it is just easier on me if everyone else is happy around me.
ReplyDeleteTo all who posted about grandparents: I agree that grandparents can have as much or more influence as parents do. My grandmother was a source of wisdom and comfort as I grew up. I miss her dreadfully and think of her often. As a gramma now, i realize just how much grandchildren mean to me and I hope some day they will look back and see me as a positive and motivational force in their lives.
ReplyDeleteAs most of you have probably heard me talk about, I grew up in a very small town, and consequently, had those small town values drilled into my being for a solid 18 years. I think this greatly influenced my work ethic and also the manner in which I treat other people. My parents are second to none and did an amazing job of leading by example for my brother and me. Our dad taught us to be dependable, trustworthy, and hard working individuals. We were expected to do (to the best of our abilities) what needed to be done, by the time it needed to be done, no questions asked. Period. Our mom taught us to look for the best in everyone, to always help others in any way we could whenever we could, and not to judge someone else because that wasn’t our job. I think both of these traits have definitely been of value to me in the workplace (as well as in most every other aspect of my life), and I hope that I’ll be able to be a positive influence for someone else in the way that my parents and community were for me.
ReplyDeleteAshley~
I COMPLETELY relate to the comment you made about thinking things are easier if everyone else around you is happy. I am EXACTLY the same way. I’ll do almost anything in the world to avoid conflict and make others happy. However, I think that at times, I’ve also made situations more complicated and more stressful by trying to please everyone. Kind of counterproductive, right??? I really wish I could just learn to find a happy medium, you know??? ☺
To everyone who commented about grandparents~
I totally agree with all of you regarding the impact that they can have on a person’s life, and I cannot even imagine how I would’ve turned out without mine. I remember my Grandma Horyna told me one time that she never had a fight with her husband, had never raised her voice to another person, and that she had only been in trouble 1 time with her parents while growing up. This absolutely shocked me, but I never doubted it for a second, and her words really helped to change my viewpoint on a lot of situations I’ve encountered throughout my life. When I was younger, I didn’t realize how valuable the lessons were that my grandparents were teaching me, but looking back, I’m very thankful that they realized it and took the time to share with me everything that they did.
Marcy and Jerrie-It is interesting to find out you were both middle children in your families as well. I don’t know about you but sometimes I felt left out. Now looking back, it may have been that I felt on the outside because of trying to make peace for everyone in the family. My brother and sister did not see eye to eye. I just wanted everyone to get along and like each other in the end.
ReplyDeleteGrowing up I never thought of myself as being the spoiled youngest child (even though there were only 2 of us)but entering HS, I realized I was kinda spoiled. My paternal grandmother lived in the same town and we did many things together. She had as much influence on me as much as my parents. I was taught to work hard and do it RIGHT! My parents worked hard and were proud of what they did-this has carried over into my way of thinking.
ReplyDeleteI was the oldest of two children and was lucky to grow up in a loving, stable home environment. In many ways I was sheltered from the world, and had no idea how much conflict existed in some families until I was an adult. When I first became a professional, I was shocked by things that happen in some families. I have since witnessed individuals who seem to constantly be in conflict with someone. It is almost like they are out of their comfort zone if some type of conflict is not present.
ReplyDeleteAshley and Brittney-Maybe educators are all a bunch of people pleasers who want to avoid conflict. I know there are times I have felt betrayed/violated, but have kept quiet instead of saying anything. It seemed easier than dealing with conflict.
Grandparent comments-I have wonderful memories of time spent with both sets of grandparents. One set lived in town, but the other set took me on vacations throughout the United States. Also, I would spend lots of time staying with them during the summer and during school breaks. My boys spend lots of time with my parents and have a very special bond with them. I agree that grandparents are important and also influence your upbringing.
This is an aside comment. We seem to be having difficulties for some people with the blog. Are any of you have difficulties getting on or posting?
ReplyDeletePlease EMAIL me an answer.
I am the oldest of five children and have four younger brothers. This has molded me into a caregiver and "second mother" in many ways. Looking at the types of personalities I can see where I fall. Not only does being the oldest child in a large family help to mold me into being a responsible and caring person it also has allowed me to be able to talk with people of all ages and backgrounds. My extended family is extremely large and that has also helped to influence how I interact with others. Growing up my grandmother was an important influence in my life. I am the oldest grandchild and for a long time the only girl. So in many respects she was the one who spoiled me and let me move away from the responsibilities of being the oldest and only girl in my family.
ReplyDeleteAshley-Thank you for your post. I have always assumed the youngest child was the spoiled child of a family. Maybe we assume our other siblings have it better than us when in reality it is just as tough as being the oldest or middle child. It seems that many of us felt we were the peacekeepers in the family regardless of our birth order.
ReplyDeleteWhen talking about family and up bringing, it is sometimes hard to know where to start. My father had a huge influence on not just my work ethic, but how you complete that work. He took care of things the right way. I remember as a teenager him saying you have to take care of business. Maybe he had a little Elvis in him. For him it was not just working hard but being a man of his word. Integrity is huge for him. This aspect of my childhood has definintely influenced me in my professional life.
ReplyDeleteMany of you have spoken about your grandparents and their influence. My grandmother was one of the kindest women ever. I have memories of going to the grocer store and buying two big bags of groceries then taking them to a house in disrepair and leaving them on the front step with a hand made quilt. She would then turn around and look at my sister and I and say don't you say a word. She also influenced me in my special education career. My grandparents raised my aunt who was severely mentally retarded. She spent everyday of her life with my grandparents. She never went to school and never lived away from them. Their wish was that she would pass before them so no one else would have to care for her. They taught me that she was just a part of our family no different from anyone else.
Laura
Your post about your grandmother made me think of mine.
Dana
I too am the youngest of two. I was very spoiled growing up. Looking back I know how much my parents did for me. They provided me with everything I wanted, but they also instilled in me that no one is better than anyone else. We are all God's children.
Family dynamics really do play an important part of development. Once again as you get into the book try not to get hung up with all of Maggie Craddocks versions of dysfunctional families. I really want everyone to look more at how your family has influenced you and made you the person you are. As you get to know more about the different leadership types I think you will be able to recognize them in others. With a little insight gained from the book maybe it will help you deal with others in your professional life.
ReplyDeleteFor all the grandparent comments-I have been influenced by the way the grandmother that spoiled me as to how I want to treat my grandchildren-just wish they lived closer!! I agree Marcy-I want to be that positive, motivating grandparent that they will talk about some day on a blog :)
ReplyDeleteLaura-your comment about personalities and birth order-some times I think they are correct and other times, completely opposite. I think of my own children-my oldest is very passive and my middle child is very motivated one.
Like many of you I grew up on a farm and was taught a strong work ethic by my parents. There was always something to do. And, after raising my boys in an agriculture atmosphere I think that the rural life style teaches wonderful life lessons naturally. My parents were older (late 20's) when I was born (after thinking they couldn't have children) and I think that maturity was beneficial for me and my only other sibling; a sister. I'm the oldest and I don't really like conflict. My sister enjoyed center stage and I was content to take more of a back seat and help my Dad farm. My Mom was a teacher so education as well as work ethic was valued. We were taught not to rely on others to do something we could do or could learn to do ourselves. My grandparents lived close by and I have good memories of my maternal grandparents although they passed away before I was six. My paternal Grandma was my heroine. She was my babysitter before I started kindergarten, helped me learn to drive and spoiled us. I enjoyed talking to her and was heartbroken when she passed away my senior year of high school. She was a great role model and worked outdoors and in the fields when in an era when women "kept house and took care of babies". I've since learned more about my great grandparents and feel that their influence has carried down through the generations as far as values and work ethic. Marcy & Dana, I too hope to fill my grandma's shoes as a Mimi (grandmother).
ReplyDeleteMarcy - My parents had the same attitude as you described, "Work hard, do what you are told, and don't ask questions." I grew up valuing hard work and knowing that it will pay off. I hope to instill these same values in my future children someday.
ReplyDeleteKaren - I also grew up on a farm where there was always something to be done. I think when you grow up on a farm, a certain work ethic is taught and expected. We also were taught to not rely on others. I still live by this. I usually try to do most everything myself, as much as I can, before I ask others for help.
I find myself in the same boat as Jerrie and Marcy growing up. I was the middle child and a baby boomer! My parents had a really strong work ethic and passed it on to me. They always stressed that if you are going to do something, do it the best you can. This has lead to stress at work when others do not have the same work ethic or belief in doing a good job from day one.
ReplyDeleteAlso, my parents have always stressed the importance of family. Even today, my three brothers and sister live in Ulysses. As my parents get older, I find myself looking out for them more.
I remember when we were growing up, we always went to grandma or grandpa's house. Tons of cousins, aunts and uncles would be there. It is kind of sad that a lot of family has passed away, but the core family still sticks together. However, as I type these comments, I realize that as the older ones pass on, the younger ones do not get together as much as they did when aunts, uncles and grandparents were around.
I tried to post yesterday, but apparently it didn't work so I will try again.
ReplyDeleteI grew up with the same values that many of you have mentioned. Work first, work hard, earn what you want, and always do your best. My parents modeled those things at all times. My dad ruled the family with an iron fist, and my mom was very submissive. She never stood up for herself or any of us kids, even when my dad was obviously wrong. I resented her for that and as a result, I think that caused me to be overly assertive. That is something that I have to be very careful about. I was the second of five children; none of us had close relationships with each other or my parents. That is probably why I became such and independent person.
My grandmothers were polar opposites; one sweet and kind,the other was not. (I pray daily that I turn out more like the kind one.) One set of grandparents had nothing because they had no skills to cope with tough times, the other set had a strong work ethic and great coping skills that saw them through everything. Both have greatly affected the way I view life and the way I strive to imitate.
ReplyDeleteI feel I was influenced by my upbringing in not wanting to be like my siblings. they were uneducated and most did not finish high school. I wanted more. I admire my parents for being able to support me in all that I went after and were always there cheering us on. My parents did their best to teach us right from wrong but let us make our own mistakes. My parents have made me stand on my own two feet many times yet were there when I needed to be bailed out. I am number 6 of 7 children. Immediate family has is very important to me. I also have a close relationship with my niece and nephews. I fit right in the middle of my siblings and nieces and nephews age wise. Extended family never lived close enough to really know them. Depending on yourself was always encouraged and expected. If you wanted something you had to work for it. Nothing was given without work or a special occasion.
ReplyDeleteKaren, I relate to things that you wrote. My parents both worked but we never were left with a babysitter. The only people we ever watched us were siblings or my maternal grandmother would come stay for awhile to care for us. Mom worked because we need the income.
ReplyDeleteDebi-You said you are not close to your parents or siblings. I find that I feel lost sometimes since both of my parents are gone. I lost them both when my children were little and I often think what would my mom have told me to do. I miss them greatly. I have relationships with all of my siblings each is very different. My youngest brother and I are very close in age and we are there when we need each other. The rest of our siblings are at least 7 years older than we are.
ReplyDeleteJjneat,
ReplyDeleteIt seems that extended families don't get together as much as they used to. Perhaps that is because we have so many other things in our lives that get in the way of family time. I wonder what the result of the loss of family time will have on the next generation.
Hope,
I really respect you for not using the example of your siblings as an excuse to repeat their choices. Good for you for recognizing that you wanted more out of life and that finishing high school and continuing your education were they way to get it.
Jan,
ReplyDeleteI felt the same way you did when I first started teaching. I too was a sheltered child and had no idea of the things that went on in some families.
Tammi -
ReplyDeleteMy grandmother had a huge influence on me as well. She was always very positive and would not allow me to gossip or put others down. She was a great example for me and it still affects my personality today.
How has your family and up bringing influenced who you are today? Give 2 examples
ReplyDeleteMy family has had a huge influence on who I am today. My mom raised me herself from the time I was 2 until I was 10. When I was 10 she remarried. When she was a single mom she worked very hard to provide for us. There were many nights she worked late and did not pick me up from daycare until 7:00p.m. This instilled in me the value of hard work.
I mentioned before that my mom remarried when I was 10. She married a great man. He taught me how to be kind to everyone. He was a kind and wonderful man and never knew a stranger. He never spoke badly of anyone. He was hard-working and very loving. He instilled in my a kindness that I feel has a positive affect on many people each day.
As I read over these blogs, I think about my own family. Work, stress and caring for family tend to overwhelm a person. It seems like the only time I see extended family is at funerals or wedding. The sad thing is I will tend to miss the wedding before I will miss a funeral. At that point, it is too late in some respect. I think we all need to take the time to "smell the roses" and appreciate what family we have left.
ReplyDeleteMy family and upbringing has greatly influenced who I am today. I am very blessed to have a close knit family, both immediate and extended, so a lot of things rub off. Everything from values I place on things such as education, to what type of yogurt I buy, all can be attributed to other family members. Although I do believe that development has attributes in both nurture and nature, nurture is much easier to spot.
ReplyDeleteJamie - Your comment on having to stand up to your brothers made me wonder if that is something that I inherited as well. I have two older brothers, and although now I get along great with the one that is closer to my age, this wasn't always the case. I don't know if it was a case of little ones vying for attention or just normal sibling rivalry that happens with children are spaced a certain amount apart, but we fought a bit. This relationship taught me to stand up for myself when needed, but I think personalities within a family dynamic naturally offset others characters. In this case, I also developed submissiveness when the situation isn't overwhelming.
ReplyDeleteHope - I am truly sorry about your parents. I think your statement about wanting to ask them questions but not being able to, really put it into perspective how important each relationship is and not to take it for granted.
Alan: I too, grew up working alongside my parents who taught work ethic on a role model basis. My grandparents lived close - 10 miles a way and we all went to the same church.
ReplyDeleteTammi and others: My grandmother was a huge influence on me. We spent a lot of time with her. Not only did she do the traditional "woman" chores of her time (thirties, forties and fifties) she also worked in the fields. I'm sure I got my love of the outdoors from her...and going barefoot.