1. Identify one or two power quadrants you feel most strongly describes you. 2. Take strategic pauses 3. Reflect on your power patterns and their hidden costs 4. Practice new habits. (This is strictly a personal and self reflective activity)
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Inspirer and pleaser seem to fit me the best, however, I stray into other quadrants as needed.
ReplyDeleteInspirer - definitely... Think as a single Mom I spend some time in the Commander quadrant. I agree it depends on the situation I'm in.
ReplyDeleteThis bookstudy has helped me not only look at myself, but understand where others are coming from.
I am a pleaser by nature and do get blindsided by others, especially commanders. Practicing new habits is difficult because my way of dealing with the commander I see is to avoid him whenever possible. But, I also see myself in all three of the other quadrants; it just depends on the situation I am in. Basically, I want to believe we are all here for the students and what is best for them. When I get blindsided, I want to hide!
ReplyDeleteI would have to say that I am a pleaser for the most part, but I also see myself has a inspirer. I like things that are familiar to me and what I am used too.
ReplyDeleteJerrie- I also think I get blindsided by others as well.
I see myself as a Pleaser. I think I may have some qualities of the Charmer. However, I don't see the brown nosing in myself. I just tend to get along with others and like for them to feel welcomed. Hopefully someone sees me as an Inspirer!! I know I struggle with people who are commanders. In the past, I had a principal who was a commander. The first year he was principal was a bad time for me. He was very blunt and gruff and I did not deal well with it. It was not until I went to a True Colors workshop that I understood where he was coming from. It made a major difference in how I viewed him!
ReplyDeleteI feel that I mainly fit into the pleaser quadrant simply because I like to help others and I like things to follow a pattern. I can see that once in a while I fit into the commander and less often in the inspirer quadrants. I don’t see myself as a charmer ever. Some of my downfalls are; needing validation, not advocating for myself, and avoiding conflict. It is nice to know that these are not necessarily wrong and sometimes desirable traits to have. Since reading this book I am starting to look and think of others as simply being different and reacting differently than I do and trying to move on without letting their actions bother me.
ReplyDeleteI saw myself fitting in both the pleaser and inspirer quadrants. I will have to list qualities/traits to see which one I have the most in.
ReplyDeleteFinally, I have posted on time - would another pleaser please reinforce me :)
ReplyDeleteReally - I think I have some pleaser characteristics and some characteristics of an inspirer. I think one of the most valuable things I have learned from this book is a little more understanding of the point of view of a commander.
After reading the book, I feel am a mix. I am a pleaser in that I'm a good listener and external validation is nice; commander in that there is an underlining sense of respect for authority; and inspirer (mostly) in that I am constantly thinking of ways to improve my classroom, I make a habit of looking for the positive, and listen to input from colleagues. There are definitely ways in which to improve being a better leader and I really appreciated this book for bringing to my attention not only ways I could improve, but also seeing the psychology behind how others work. It was both helpful and interesting.
ReplyDeleteI relate most to the pleaser quadrant. I like helping others, I need validation at times, and I want people to like me (which I'm seeing as a downfall). I enjoyed the book because it opened my eyes to how I was acting and reacting to others I work with. I am more aware of myself and others actions and emotions at work. As another person stated, I am trying to see others actions and understand them as coming from a different viewpoint or power play, which is not necessarily a bad thing.
ReplyDeleteChapter 10-11
ReplyDeleteAs I was reading this book and thinking about the case studies, I don’t fit in any of Craddock’s specific categories. I think: 1. I am a loyal person, 2. I have good networking skills, 3. I have empathy for others, 4. I have a good work ethic, 5. I am not afraid of conflict, 6. I am a loner-I don’t need to throw my power genes around-if I have any, 8. I am a team player to a certain extinct-I am not a follower, 9. I am dependable, and 10. I make others feel good.
I do agree with Craddock’s statement that power is contagious. It depends on the person in power; it depends on what is at stake.
Remember the saying, “The squeaky wheel gets the oil.” Some people are negative and they use that negativity to gain power by adding to their group and getting more people to feel negative.
Think about gangs, they feel the power when bullying or stealing, the more they do it, the more powerful they feel. In actuality they are really cowards!
Knowledge is power! The more you know the more power you can exhibit when there are conflicts. Some people are driven to find the answers to questions, so in some ways this is contagious. I think about my brother-in-law because he is a great Sunday school teacher, but he was driven to read the Bible and study it because so many people say, “well the Bible says.” He decided to find out if it really stated all the things he was told.
What about the Captain on the cruise ship that sunk, I bet he thought he was a powerful man, but when he needed that skill, he turned out to be a coward. This conversation could on and on!
Chapter 10-11
ReplyDeleteAs I was reading this book and thinking about the case studies, I don’t fit in any of Craddock’s specific categories. I think: 1. I am a loyal person, 2. I have good networking skills, 3. I have empathy for others, 4. I have a good work ethic, 5. I am not afraid of conflict, 6. I am a loner-I don’t need to throw my power genes around-if I have any, 8. I am a team player to a certain extinct-I am not a follower, 9. I am dependable, and 10. I make others feel good.
I do agree with Craddock’s statement that power is contagious. It depends on the person in power; it depends on what is at stake.
Remember the saying, “The squeaky wheel gets the oil.” Some people are negative and they use that negativity to gain power by adding to their group and getting more people to feel negative.
Think about gangs, they feel the power when bullying or stealing, the more they do it, the more powerful they feel. In actuality they are really cowards!
Knowledge is power! The more you know the more power you can exhibit when there are conflicts. Some people are driven to find the answers to questions, so in some ways this is contagious. I think about my brother-in-law because he is a great Sunday school teacher, but he was driven to read the Bible and study it because so many people say, “well the Bible says.” He decided to find out if it really stated all the things he was told.
What about the Captain on the cruise ship that sunk, I bet he thought he was a powerful man, but when he needed that skill, he turned out to be a coward. This conversation could on and on!
1. Identify one or two power quadrants you feel most strongly describes you.
ReplyDeleteI am a pleaser and at times I can be a commander. I spill over into the other quadrants too.
2. Take strategic pauses
I really do need to take the time to pause and reflect. In doing so I can see so many things that I would like to do differently. Having a mentor or spouse pause and reflect with you helps see another perspective as well.
3. Reflect on your power patterns and their hidden costs
When I am in full pleaser mode I feel the largest hidden cost is time. I give up all my time to please others and take no time for myself. Taking time for myself is important and I have to make an effort to do so.
4. Practice new habits. (This is strictly a personal and self reflective activity) Self reflection is a habit I have started since beginning this book study. It is a great thing. I want to start making a date with myself. If a schedule it on the calendar then I will be forced to take some time and do something for myself.
For anyone who knows me well, you all would definitely agree that I fall into the commander quad, especially when it comes to coaching. But with my teaching job, I fall into the pleaser quad because it's so important to me that my bosses in both SC and HPEC like what I am doing. I had to highlight a ton of stuff in the pleaser chapter because it was like "oh that's me, oh that's me, UGH that is soooo me!!" Which in a lot of ways makes my commander side get mad at my pleaser side because why? Because the pleaser side to my commander is showing a sign of weakness. Can anyone say dual personalities LOL
ReplyDelete2. Take strategic pauses
I have learned the hard way of not thinking before I speak or even show any emotion at all in the school I'm in. There are so many different personalities in my job, that one slight breath out of place can and most probably will be mis-interpreted. So many many times, I have to pause and even step out of my comfort zone and see from the other person's side before I react.
3. Reflect on your power patterns and their hidden costs
The absolute cost of my commander side is the lack of trust I have created between myself and some collegues. I had a situation a few years ago with another teacher and even though we both apologized, I have a hard time trying to be respectful in my mind when she is telling me things. I also know she probably feels the same way, which is too bad.
4. Practice new habits. (This is strictly a personal and self reflective activity) I think after reading the commander chapter, I have really tried to give more compliments to people and recognize when adults and students are trying their best, even if the results are not what I thought they should be.
I am 99.9% a pleaser but I also tend to be an inspirer I love to help people and I love to cheer those on who want to strive to reach higher and move forward in positive ways.
ReplyDeleteI am a pleaser. I want to make sure that I am doing what I need to but I can also sometimes be in other quadrants when I need to be. I feel like I need to work on branching out into the other quadrants and become better at them.
ReplyDelete